Well, here I am again.
I figured something out today:
I've been an ungrateful sack of shit.
I've abandoned you guys time and time again, just coming back and recieving nothing but warm welcomes and kind words from the beautiful people that make up this community. I come back to the best friends I've had in a very long time only to leave again, then I just rinse and repeat. I really don't deserve all the kindness and all the friends that I hope I still have here.
You are the only people who stay with me no matter what I do, what I think, or who I am, the only people who had stayed with me through all that I've been through, who have helped me the tough times and enjoyed the good times with me, and what do I return that with? Nothing at all, I leave as if you were some puppets at my disposal so I can just enjoy my time here, I don't contribute anything, I just come here and leave.
I remember the laughs, the tears, and the pain we've shared and it does nothing more than remind me of what a terrible member of this community I've been, and I really want to change that. I want the great times we've had to come back, to relive those moments in the future.
I am profusely sorry for my behaviour and I do hope that you will welcome me one last time into your kind arms.
-Ratzu